Renascence...

i have been waiting,
watching what you are looking for,
I've been screaming,
trying to know if you'll hear me.

now that i know you,
it all seems so easy.
for what I'm going to do,
will wipe you out for eternity.

many have fallen
in trying to break me.
now that I'm calling,
i want you to see.

when i start screaming,
i want you to know,
from ashes am rising.
its time for you to go.

unheard cries...

As I stifle yet another cry,
I let yet another part of me die,
How long do I carry on?
When do I get to see the light of dawn?

Go ahead, hurt me again,
Am now used to all the pain,
Go ahead, inflict some more,
Break the heart you’ve already torn.

My tears no longer fall,
I choke and take it all.
Bury it deep inside me,
Try not to let you see.

I let another scream die,
Can’t break free, no matter how hard I try.
You see all the pain and hurt,
& yet choose to leave this cry unheard.

but how can i?

I wish I could just walk away,
Pretend this never happened,
But my past refuses to leave me,
Nothing lets me forget your effrontery.

I try to garner the courage,
To look up and look into your eyes,
To be able to tell you that I’m alright,
When all I want is for you to hold me tight.

I remember the day you broke my heart,
I pretended that I didn’t feel a thing,
But how can I forgive you?
Believe that I can forget you?

You were the light in my life,
The hope when all else failed,
The truth amidst all fallacy,
But how was I to know that someday,
You would fail me……

..............

It has always been easier to pretend,
Than trying to bring this pain to an end.
I rather drift away from you,
Drift away while the memories are few.
I should have known right from the start,
I can’t believe I let you break my heart.
Now suddenly your smile seems fake,
All your promises have started to break.
You tell me your sorry and everything is the same,
But I find it hard to accept your claim.
I’ve believed in your lies for too long,
All my trust in you has now long gone.
I don’t need you and neither do you,
Its time to stop pretending, I’ll start my life anew,
Only this time….without you.

better off alone

The world had just fooled me,
In believing I was crazy.
I tried to be perfect,
But I was nowhere close to it.
It was never enough,
I guess life was meant to be tough,
I’d always try to find the right things to say,
Try to play things the right way.
I thought it was easy,
But you had just fooled me
And left me feeling so empty
And nobody could see
All the pain I had inside...

I decided to let it go,
Tried to never let the pain show,
And believed that someday you would know,
But,
I guess I am better off alone.

tainted love

how can u expect me to be happy
when i asked for patience, you didn't show me any,
how can you say you love me?
every time i was in pain, you just let me be.
you left me alone to fight my fears,
you weren't there to wipe my tears.
do you know you are the reason i cry?
you will be the reason i'll have to die.
if ever the world breaks apart,
if gods cry n all tears run dry.
if the world ends and hell descends,
you can search the seven seas for me,
but i'll be gone just so that u could see,
we were never meant to be,
your love always seemed too empty...

lost memories.

mayb i was waiting for something new
something about which i had no clue
that is when u came along
all my emptiness seemed long gone.
you bought mystery into my life,
and then cut my heart with a knife.
i realized you were never mine,
your indifference was the first sign.
blinded by tears and pain,
i cursed my luck again and again.
but i realized i had nothing to lose,
i was just broken n confused.
all i had lost was someone who was never true
now i smile and pity you.
you lost faith, love and trust,
throw it all away if u really must..

A Giant 'Leap'

Another year just breezed by. It’s been one of those years which just decide to jump out of the blue, take you by surprise and before you know it, its over. When you try to remember what happened in those 365 days, you draw a big blank. Well it’s not a ’big’ blank for me, coz if nothing else, I completed another year in college, but apart from that everything is a blank.

So when midnight came and ushered a new year, I was still staring blankly into space through the mad crowd foot stomping and tried to get over the fact that another year had just passed. Damn! What happened to my dream of being a rock star by the time I was 18???

Just then a friend walked by.
“So what’s your new year resolution?” she quizzed.
“Eh?” I looked at her, getting out of my trance, “am I supposed to make one?”
“Of course! Everyone makes one.” She laughed.
“What resolution do I make?” I asked racking my brain for one.
“well that’s totally your choice!” she laughed and got up, “My resolution is to booze less, but then again, resolutions are meant to be broken.” She winked.

I decided to go and join the dancing crowd as my mind continued racing trying to find a resolution easy enough to keep. Hopelessly my feet tried to keep pace with the speed of my whirring brain but eventually my mind outraced the beats and my steps and I landed up where I began…on the couch.

I tried to remember the mistakes I had made in the past year, hoping to correct them. But again, all I had done in the last year was fool around. The year just seemed to be one big complete mistake. Probably the best part of the year was that it was finally over. And then the solution hit me, my resolution was simple and straight forward.

Here goes – I decided to make the year go by a little slower. Confused?? Let me explain. This is how my theory works - jam pack the year with memories. Some good, some bad. 2007 is one year which is missing from my memory and I definitely don’t want another year to go the same way. So I decided to make this year as memorable as possible. And the time began now…

I walked to the cocktail counter to celebrate my newfound resolution to find my friend guzzling up her third cocktail. She broke her resolution in ten minutes flat. I hope to keep mine for longer.

Well I can’t lose. I’ll definitely have more memories than the last year. Try as I might, there is no possible way I could break this resolution even if I wanted to. How? I’ll leave that to u. figure it out. Oh by the way, did I mention that this happens to be a leap year? ;)